A lot of people might be wondering, if INFJs (aka Advocates) are generally kind and empathetic, where does the INFJ door slam come from?
It is so often that we Advocates are ignored, talked over, and pushed to the side that we reach the point of questioning our reality. On one hand, we are extremely self-motivated and inspiring individuals, however, on the other hand, when others walk all over your feelings and your voice gets drowned in the all the noise and din the rest of the world is making, you feel so worthless and all of a sudden, your inner drive, your passion, your desire to enjoy being yourself, they begin to fade. And when all this has been happening for years, you sort of become numb because you had to make yourself get used to keeping things inside all the time. We want the best for others but when we ourselves are broken and beat-up, nobody gives us the love we give to others. That’s a fact, not a complaint.
On top of that, when people close to us have hurt us far too many times and failed to take our feelings into consideration, we consciously and unconsciously begin to make ourselves disappear. We become emotionally distant, and nothing that others say or do effect us anymore. We’ll listen, but with empty hearts. Having to be in one-sided relationships and conversations that lack respect and depth is one of the most unpleasant things we constantly face in our social interactions.
This is how INFJs develop a kind of dark side to their otherwise altruistic personality. Only and only when we are pushed to our very limits, our hearts start turning into a dark and empty void. Finally, when we have been stripped of all feeling and sympathy, we may stop helping people and we expect others to be as strong as we ourselves have become.